She

I was very proud and happy when She pass her riding test. She has finally achieve her long time dream. It was perfect, an almost perfect day before everything crumbles down like sandcastle on a high tide. She lost her cool with the money changer and releases all onto me. I felt crap, disappointed and sad. This is not the first time. This is one of her many outburst where she can't control. The rushing, the cramping of every to-do-thing in one go, the impatient-ness, is part and parcel of her daily life. No time to stop and smell the flowers. An almost perfect human being living in a imperfect world.

Imperfection is everywhere, living and surrounding us. We live in an imperfect world where there is a red light stop whenever you are rushing, a heavy downpour when you wanted to go for a run, planning to watch a favourite movie when all seats are sold out, a imperfect day when the rude hawker dampens it, the list goes so long that even this blog can't handle. The truth is, we cannot expect everything to run smoothly or without problems. The world is full of problems, and that is a real fact and reality.

How should I describe ? Its like a vitamin supplement that you only take when you need it and when its unnecessary you throw it aside or sometimes even forget about it. That is how I felt. How would you feel if every now and then somebody just release their outburst onto you? Naturally you will ask yourself question ? Why is this happening ? Is the threshold of tolerance over the limit ? Can I still take one more punch in the ring? Is it just Her? Every human being experience wear and tear as well, and become very weary and torn in times such as these.

It is about understanding. Understanding yourself ? and understanding your partner. She mention every time to me that, why I don't understand her? but did she try and understand herself in the first place? Why she got an uncontrollable anger ? and why ? and how it affects the people around her ? If she truly understand herself, the outburst wouldn't have occur, because She would have understand the repercussion of what will happen if she simply let off the outburst. So did she think 10 steps in front this time ?

Please help you to help me. I am trying my best dearie.

The journey that we are undertaking to Europe is full of imperfection. We will meet with unexpected situations and maybe experience we never thought we will meet and surely, experience that will dampens our spirits. What if we were to meet another slow money changer in Russia when our train is about to leave? Another outburst? Surely it will destroy the true meaning of this journey of why we set out to do and us.

I hope that She will understand why I wrote this entry. Its one of my way of expressing to her so that she can understand how I feel sometimes. This is what the blog was created in the first place. A place of expression and understanding for both of us.

I Love you dearie. . . . . .